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Taking a Tumble

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If you lived in our townhouse complex you may have been privy to a quite ridiculous situation a few days ago. Let me set the scene.

The child bride has bursitis in her left shoulder and has recently had a cortisone injection so her left arm may as well be made of wood, such is its uselessness.

And yesterday, after lunch at the excellent Birches restaurant, it started to rain. Being the chivalrous knight that I am, I went down the ramp to the carpark first and towards the bottom, turned to tell Mum and the CB to wait out of the rain while I went to get the car. As I turned, I put my foot halfway onto a small step, twisted my ankle and went down like Monica Lewinsky. Unfortunately there was no Clinton of any persuasion to break my fall, only a concrete path and it was not happy to see my right shoulder, right elbow and right hip so took to them like Mike Tyson to anybody.

Consequently, today I feel like I’ve just played the All Blacks….at my age.

So, there are industrial bins for our household rubbish. The lids are at about nipple level for me and top hat level for the rather diminutive CB. With both of us being appendage challenged, as in being unable to lift our respective right and left arms more than about 10 degrees we each had to take one small bag of rubbish to the big bins. I lifted the lid with my left hand and the CB threw the bags in with her right.

In the mining game we call this double handling. In our townhouse complex it’s called pathetic if you don’t know the circumstances.

Fortunately I don’t watch football with my hip and shoulder although they do together comprise a rather brutal function in the uniquely Australian version of football (or “footy” as it’s colloquially called). You can google “hip and shoulder” to see what I mean.

And I don’t need them to drink beer either as I have a perfectly normal functioning mirror image pair on the left side of my body, not that I need my hip to get a glass to my mouth, but it does get me to the fridge.The next challenge is to see if I can slide a guitar into that 10 degree gap.

Your boundless sympathy is much appreciated.

European Safari – Epilogue

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I called this the prologue in the previous post. Apologies to all of those people whose grammar and punctuation I have criticised (justifiably – all of them) in the past.

We got back from Europe in time for my birthday and what feel like massive hangovers.

 

Back home this morning after a rather long time between getting off the boat in Stockholm on Thursday morning and getting back to Brisbane. Still, got here in time to see replays of Broncos v St George played last night and the Wallabies v New Zealand from last Saturday (which we won – woo hoo). Let’s hope the result is the same for the Bledisloe decider tonight (it wasn’t).

Completely knackered after almost 4 weeks of “relaxing” holiday and struggling to make it to a decent hour to go to sleep and avoid the worst of jet lag which has a bigger impact when going west to east than the other way apparently.

We got a magnificent welcome from Charlie the dog who greeted us with an enthusiasm only he can muster. But then he carries on like that when you come back from the toilet. Anyway, he’s helped me watch 2 football games today. Even the cats seemed pleased to see us or at least enough to feign a rather aloof acknowledgement that some familiar faces were back in their house.

My brain is mush at the moment. I used to go into the office after flying in from Europe or wherever, in my younger days. Thankfully, I learnt that lesson eventually. In fact, going into any office seems a somewhat remote possibility at the moment. Thank God it’s Saturday.