Well here we are, in the immortal words of Willie Nelson “on the road again”. Specifically, we are in Hong Kong Airport at the height (actually, that depends on who you talk to because it may have more legs yet) of the coronavirus pandemic or as the more technically inclined call it COVID-19 which I believe is the disease you get from the virus. There are more people here in the airport than I had been led to believe. I’ve seen pictures of it nearly deserted but maybe the not-so-timid are venturing outdoors and taking off again.

The best part of being out and about during a medical panic, especially in this part of the world, is that 90% of the people here are wearing masks. We have recently learned that the masks stop people with the virus from spreading it rather than prevent the wearer from catching it from someone else. So thanks everyone. I couldn’t be bothered buying one of those things but you have all made that consideration redundant anyway.

The coronavirus supposedly causes flu-like symptoms. Fair enough, but it seems to me that the thought of it causes insanity also. It must be like sitting behind your castle wall in Samarkand in 1219 thinking about and waiting for Genghis Khan and his 100,000 strong Mongol horde to come barrelling through the gates. That thought would be enough to send you on a completely unhinged toilet paper buying frenzy which is precisely what is happening world-wide at the moment. I can understand this happening if there is a real prospect of a nuclear holocaust and the bunker in the back yard needs stocking up with life’s essentials like baked beans, bullets and toilet paper. But a virus that causes flu symptoms? Sorry but you bum-wad hoarders have lost me there.

Our flight from Hong Kong to Manchester is the last one out – 1.35am. Beer has kept me awake so far but I may have to pour the next one over my head to stay awake.

On the plane now and all of the flight attendants are wearing masks – like extremely polite outlaws except they are offering us stuff rather than taking it off us.

Apologies for the paucity of posts but I’ve been rather busy. When I think about that statement I’m reminded of the great P.J.O’Rourke’s statement about healthcare – “If you think healthcare is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free”. Various wannabe socialist politicians in the US (and elsewhere) should take note. No, my take on that quote is “If you think you’re busy now, think how busy you’ll be when you have nothing to do”.

So I’m supposed to be sliding out of semi-retirement after having fought the good fight for the mining industry for many years. But people keep giving me things to do. The best part of that is that I can choose to do the job in question, or not, as the case may be – back off lawyers with expert witness work; I’ve hung up my spurs. Working for myself affords certain other privileges also. One is to travel whenever the CB wants to travel.

Anyway, there will be a flurry of website activity in coming weeks. You see the CB and I are off to the UK to board our Celtic Caravan (comprising one cousin’s car and two hire cars). Incidentally, the CB doesn’t “do” caravans, as such, other than those kitted out like a house (as is the case with my cousin’s place at Conwy). Caravans in the conventional sense, as in those you tow behind a car, are too much like camping and that has been off the agenda since we almost desiccated to death in a tent on the Gold Coast in heat that would have qualified as a “climate emergency” if I was a Green or a Swedish teenager or an idiot. So it’ll be the aforementioned house-like caravan, hotels and B&B’s.

So a pub crawl round Wales with Cuz1 and Cuz2 will be the first order of business followed by a family wedding at which there will be no respite from doing the Swansea Swig. To finish off, the CB and I will take a leisurely drive round the top half of Ireland where I am reliably informed (by a used car salesman friend) there are no pubs. So get ready for Tales from the Celtic Caravan, coming to a website near you – this website actually.