This will be our second attempt at the iconic European river cruise although we have added to the previous effort with the Bucharest to Budapest leg. Low water levels meant we only got half way last time (about 6 years ago) and so had to do the Austrian and Hungarian bits by bus. This time the bad luck’s been related to flights. It’s not the first time the Child Bride and I have had a spot of bother traversing through or travelling to the Middle East. If you’ve read The Dry Argument, secreted somewhere in these pages, you’ll know we headed to Egypt three days after October 7th 2023 which naturally put the kibosh on the Israel part. Now there’s another war we have to avoid so availability of flights or lack thereof has meant three days in Bangkok before heading to Bucharest. Could be worse. So this Prologue has got nothing to do with rivers other than there’s one here and we found a bar next to it.
I’ve been trying to eliminate some of the avoirdupois I have invested a considerable amount of hard-earned in over the years. So far so good as I’ve dropped almost 7kg since Boxing Day. Ominously this travel extravaganza starting with Bangkok then four nights in Romania will last a bit more than a month. So what’s it got to do with my attempts to shrink my ponderous bulk, I hear my dear reader ask? Because after Romania we get on a luxurious river boat and set out on a 26 day odyssey which will eventually conclude in Amsterdam. The weight bit relates to the fact that the cruise is all inclusive 24/7 so all of the sacrifices and sweat of the last few months have been as pointless as a bowling ball. The CB and I were sitting in the Qantas lounge at the airport on day 1 and the first champagne (at 11.30am) beat the shit out of my conscience. I’m not looking forward to stepping on the scales when we get back.
One of the first things you notice here in Bangkok is that the drivers are either very devout or very superstitious or very pessimistic about their (and by extension, our) chances of surviving the drive because invariably the drivers cabin is festooned with deities and amulets. Speaking of religion or superstition or both, our recent travels have taken us to Nepal, Japan, the Middle East and the Subcontinent (also the USA bit it doesn’t really count). In all of those places temples and shrines are ubiquitous. So while we are in Bangkok I refuse to go to a temple, shrine, church, cathedral or monastery. I prefer forts and castles. If this was a literary critique I’d be preferring the War to the Peace.
Notwithstanding my aversion to things of faith (from a tourist’s perspective), we have done some serious touristing while we’ve been here. One thing you notice is the tourist uniform which generally comprises an I Heart Bangkok t-shirt and one-size-fits-all elephant pants. The less said about the young Japanese lady wearing (unwittingly, I suspect) an “I Wanna Bangkok” t-shirt, the better. I bought a Maeklong Train t-shirt at the Maeklong market which the train runs right through the middle of, literally inches from stalls. When you’re told to stay behind the red line you’d better suck in that beer gut. Our health and safety nazis would regulate this into oblivion but thankfully this is Asia and here civilisation hasn’t progressed to the point where a government inspector will wipe your arse and you’ll pay an exorbitant tax for the privilege as is coming to a Western democracy near you.. The other bad news is that unfortunately my shirt will forever smell of fish.
After a hard but pleasant day touristing in the Bangkok heat, the CB and I as usual, are thirsting for an ice-cold ale. At the Bangkok floating market, lunch for three and two beers came to 500 baht – a bit less than A$25 plus tip. Back at the hotel, one beer was 470 baht and one glass of Kiwi sav blanc was 780 baht. You could have swapped a bottle of wine for one night’s accommodation. It was time to go exploring. We found Jack’s Bar, an expat hang-out where a large Singha beer is 120 baht. You also get a view of the river which is like a cut down version of Victoria Harbour in Hong Kong or the Bosporus in Istanbul, such is the amount of traffic. Speaking of Istanbul, that’s our next stop on the way to Bucharest. Another new experience for the CB – Turkish Airlines.