We have left Colombo and I could say “finally” but that would be unfair. Nice place but you couldn’t get a beer (or anything else of significance) from a bar or restaurant for the two days we were there thanks to Buddha. The first day we were fortified by Air India’s perfectly acceptable French fizz. The CB and I took it as a challenge to see how much we could guzzle between Delhi and Colombo. A respectable amount by Absolutely Fabulous standards I think. Religious festivals unfortunately also apply to those who have no formal interest in them so we were collateral damage. But room service was the loophole we were looking for so the CB and I pulled a couple of chairs up to our hotel room’s window and pretended we were in the bar.
To get to the Dambulla temple caves you have to climb 393 steps, all of them up until you get to the top where they turn round and go down. When we got to the turnaround point I was sweating like Mr Creosote on death row. There were five caves/temples and each one had a huge (as in length not bulk) Buddha lying down. Apparently he was dead in one of them. You could tell by the way his feet were oriented apparently. I don’t think I was the sole person who couldn’t nail it. There were also numerous identical statues of Buddha all through the caves. They must have only had the ingredients for on mold.
Having completed the challenge of getting to the top but more importantly getting back to the air conditioned car in the car park, we went to lunch looking like a couple of San Franciscan hobos. I was extra uncomfortable because I had to wear long pants. I made the mistake (or was badly advised) in assuming i would’t get into the caves unless i pulled a pair of jeans over my shorts. If it had been a Jain temple l’d have got away with wearing no pants at all, like the Jain disciples we saw striding through the heaving Varanasi market crowds in their birthday suits trying not to step on bugs. But young ladies in crutch hugging shorts got in after having a sarong type thing tied round their waist. I’d have done that.
There are just the two of us on this expedition with our driver/guide. So if things get a bit too strenuous and out of hand I can tell him to get f…d. After the Dambulla climb I was set to do that but we got to lunch and cold Lion Lager before I could. After lunch we were still struggling and I got all philosophical. The stages of our lives are generally defined by infancy, school-years, college, marriage, parenthood etc. Right now they are defined by the time it takes for the nearby fan to swing back onto me as it does it’s back and forth.
It sounds so crass but we just spent quite a few hours in a heritage listed place called Polonnaruwa which is magnificent and we saw everything. But we didn’t need to. All the temples look the same, especially from the outside – I am not taking my shoes off again. This is the attitude that emerges when you are struggling to make your legs cooperate, your shirt is soaked with sweat and you know there is something better. Little did we know but we were about 14 hours away from something infinitely worse.