We’ve stayed in three hotels on this trip, where the bar was not functioning – San Francisco, Boston and Ottawa. WTF. That’s 3 on one continent – not good enough North Ameriica. We saw a ubiquitous Palestinian protest in Ottawa but non-functioning bars is something really worth protesting about. San Francisco was a diversion, you know about Boston and Ottawa was washing its hair or something. The Palestinian protest was on the corner of the block where our hotel is located. We are sitting in a bar (obviously but not in the hotel, also obviously) watching the aftermath as protesters fashionably decked out in their black and white scarves, worn just so across the shoulders wander aimlessly about. What does one do when the protest doth finish? Ironically a short time later, a bunch of Hare Krishnas occupied the same protest spot, banging their drums and chanting their mantras or whatever they’re called. Strangely they attracted zero interest from the Royal Canadian Mounted rozzers, unlike those ignorant shitbags lamenting the death of the world’s worse terrorist, who were surrounded by flashing lights and aggressively wielded batons.
While we’re in Ottawa it’s worth pointing out that like Canberra, when this place was chosen as the capital, the ever so polite Canadians had a chance to build a monument to democracy and its various various institutions. So why did they seemingly choose a Disney animator, so intent on taking the piss, to design the place? I’m looking at Parliament hill with its turrets and spires and towers and battlements and half expecting to see Shrek running down the road with Lord Farquaad in hot pursuit.
Since we started off discussing booze related topics, let’s continue. We were sitting in a bar in Montreal and I remarked on how similar modern western cities are. We could have been anywhere. In the western world. This distinction between the west and the rest has to be made because let’s face it, Boston and Cairo are somewhat dissimilar. What’s nice about some cities like Quebec City and Montreal is that they have preserved their old towns almost in their entirety or at least so they very much resemble what it was like around the dock areas 2 or 3 hundred years ago, minus much of the filth, crime and debauchery, or at least the obvious bits. Similarities in the new bits occur down to the smallest detail. The CB had a champagne cocktail (happy hour – but I’m not a cheapskate) and it was made exactly the same way as one of my secret recipes – sugar cube, dash of brandy and spray of bitters. Oh, and some champagne. I must have stolen that “secret” recipe at some point in the foggy depths of time but can’t remember when or from whom.
Incidentally, while the CB is drinking her champagne cocktail, I’m drinking a Polish beer called Zywiec (of course it had a “zyw” in it). It was that or a German grog. Poor form, I thought. O Canada, very unpatriotic. Here’s me hanging out for a Molson and I get Polish or German. Not even a Kronenbourg.
One other observation regarding Canada. It’s population on average appears considerably thinner than their equivalents to the south. The French influence could explain the absence of the twerking cohort amongst the female populace as they strive for that green salad shape. Not so the men and I put that down to French fres (ironically) being served by the cup in Canada but by the wheelbarrow in the US.