The Dry Argument #5

Mike Tyson, that great American philosopher once opined “everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth”. The CB and I had a plan to see everything possible in this fascinating place. We were fully stocked with appropriate medicinal provisions and know the ropes as far as what to eat and drink. What we and everyone else cannot plan for is the rather important need to breathe. Not sure if the air was the problem but on Saturday I was punched in the face by something that emptied my energy banks and every void in my body. As I have mentioned previously in similar circumstances, I probably dropped a couple of hat sizes when that trapdoor opened, nearly turning me inside out. So we missed out on the Coptic churches but made it to the Pyramids of Giza and the Sphinx. 14 hours of sleep later I was back on my game.

Any thought that the tourist trade was going to suffer because of the war next door was swiftly allayed once we hit the first tourist traps. We are everywhere and it seems the majority of us speak Spanish. Spanish pushing and shouting is going some way to off-setting the seven century occupation of Spain by North African muslims.

Our tourist group did not wait long to implement a tradition which is now five days old. Someone always has to be late. After wandering around the Stepped Pyramid the CB and I climbed on to what looked like a full bus (it wasn’t) and someone pointed out playfully (I think) that we were last (we weren’t), to which I replied that I thought it was our turn. Normally this wouldn’t be a problem – c’est la vie, right. But as I shall explain in #6, there are implications.

Pyramids took around 20 years to build 4000 years ago with the most primitive of tools but a large lick of ingenuity. Had they been building them in Victoria today I’m sure the Victorian Government and the CFMMEU would have managed to stretch it out to 25 with the most sophisticated technology available and the ingenuity of one of those large blocks of stone. And the taxpayer would foot the bill. The Queensland Government would have announced with great fanfare the construction of the biggest Pyramid in the world, only for the benefit of Queenslanders and then forgotten about it two years later, having built nothing.

In Australia, we have a number of naturally occurring geomorphological phenomena like Ayres Rock and Mount Warning. These have been around for millions of years withstanding everything weather and climate could throw at them. But we’re not allowed to touch them. So you will excuse  my surprise when we were invited to climb on one of the seven wonders of the ancient world – the great Pyramid of Giza. We can get up close and personal with relatively recent (but ancient in civilisation terms) history but we are prevented from climbing on or up things millions of years older than the 60000 year old culture which places them off-limits. Why? Similarly, I’m yet to be locked out of a temple, cathedral or mosque because of its religious significance.

There are some iconic attractions in the world which tend to disappoint when you actually see them, like the Mona Lisa and the Venus de Milo which are much smaller than expected and for some, the Leaning Tower of Pisa falls into the same category. And there are others which completely overwhelm you like the Acropolis (did it for me) or the Himalayas. The Pyramids of Giza fall into the latter category and I hesitate to say the Spinx is hovering between the two categories but when placed into historical context slips into the latter.

The pyramids are stunning and would be even more stunning without all of the big-mouthed vendors trying to sell us mini-pyramids and other tat. One assured us he had a doctor brother in Brisbane and apparently this meant we deserved a bag full of free stuff…but with a small donation. This was the starting gun. We didn’t have time for the fun and games which were only just beginning so gave him his bag back and merged back into the very large crowd. An entirely different experience was had in a market later, where we got the CB’s fridge magnets. For me it’s t-shirts wherever we go; for her it’s fridge magnets. Anyway the vendor wanted 80 Egyptian pounds (about 4 Aussie dollars) for one. We bought 3 off him for 100 pounds.