This is our fourth Azamara cruise and I think I’ve finally worked out why the crew : clientele ratio is so high. Not many of the people on these cruises would be capable of climbing into a lifeboat (or out of a bath) unassisted if the Poseidon Adventure shit hits the tidal wave fan, so the more help the better. It is what it is. What can I say. Anyway, this ship won’t stray far from the coast although most of it would be rather inhospitable coast and I’m almost certain wading onto a remote beach isn’t one of the planned shore excursions.
Parodying our cruise-mates would be too easy and too cruel and the CB and I actually fall into a number of the categories I could highlight although I still reckon we are in the youngest 20 or so on the boat, not counting the staff. We’re not quite the Walking Dead but sailing on Saggy Elbows Cruises is definitely us. Paul Keating used to say don’t get between a premier and a bucket of money. He could have said don’t get between a pensioner and a free buffet with equal alacrity. When that great American stand-up Bill Burr said the best way to conserve the earth’s resources and reduce the planet’s population was to systematically take out cruise ships, I think I know which ones he was talking about.
We’re 40 or so miles from shore so it’s 360 degrees of horizon at present as we sail up the South African (or Namibian) coast. It’s also our first ocean cruise for a while so the wobbly boots are well and truly on and we find ourselves walking like shopping trolleys – facing the direction you want to go but veering off at a 30 degree angle. Better off sitting down and letting perfectly balanced waiters bring liquid refreshments at regular intervals.
It’s now day 3 and we are approaching Walvis Bay in Namibia. We have seen more dolphins in the last half hour than we ever saw at Seaworld and you don’t have to pay to see them leap (is that what dolphins do?) out of the water apart from the cost of the cruise and airfares – cheap at twice the price.
The immigration people are getting on board right now and everyone who wants to get off (the boat) has to have a face-to-face meeting with an immigration officer. Very officious and official. Must be the German in them although at the end of the day it’s about dollars. I have never, apart from here, had to write on an immigration form how much money I expect to spend while I’m in their country. If you say none, does your visa application get rejected? I guess so. Not sure where we’ll spend it however because from here, where the Azamara Journey is tied up, it looks like Gilligan’s Island with a container terminal.