We are now in Scotland; Ayr to be precise. I love Scotland because there are more redheads per square metre here than in any other place on the planet. Having said that, it is necessary to be a bit careful because they are a volatile bunch. I’ll let John Cleese take over here temporarily and he’s talking about security threat levels as in the American Defcon 1-5 and the English version which ranges from “miffed” through “peeved”, “irritated”, “a bit cross” to “a bloody nuisance” which was last invoked in 1588 when the Spanish Armada threatened.
“The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the Bastards.” They don’t have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for 300 years.”
Thank you John.
So I suggested to the CB that she not irritate the locals. This is somewhat problematic because she has recently taken to suggesting better or more interesting ways to cook food to waiters in restaurants. As long as this happens after the food has been delivered I am sort of okay with it. Doing it beforehand is really asking for trouble (or food poisoning).
But let’s backtrack a bit first because we had a few terrific days in England. England is part of Great Britain which if we’re completely honest is better described as “Fair to Middling Britain” these days. But after all of England went ape-shit due to winning a penalty shootout to advance to the last eight of the World Cup, try telling that to anyone from Carlisle to Bournemouth. I know I’m mixing countries here, but it’s my blog. However the places we go to and the people we see (mostly relatives) still qualify for greatness I have say.
So after a few days of “hostile hospitality” (a phrase coined by a very good friend of mine in India who was and is peerless in this regard), the CB and I are now able to regroup and do a bit of touristy stuff.
Still on England, many years ago Francis Rossi asked his legion of fans “Would you like to ride my Deutche car”. If this is a bit esoteric for some, refer to Status Quo’s classic song “Paper Plane”. The legion responded by saying they would like to ride in a Deutche car but not his and promptly went out and bought their own. Consequently every second person owns a BMW / Audi / Mercedes / Volkswagen (strikeout whichever is not applicable). Either there’s a massive amount or wealth in this country, a massive amount of debt or we in Australia are being massively ripped off. It reminds me of Cambodia where every second car is a Lexus. That’s a Machu Picchu-like mystery which no one has been able to adequately explain to me yet.
The real Scotland experience starts tomorrow when we visit Fort William and seek out some Scotch distilleries. Hopefully the child bride won’t start telling them where they’re going wrong.